You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It's rum buckets o'clock
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
