You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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