A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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