you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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