Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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