Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
too bad you live with your parents still
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize
