Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
