Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
