One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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