I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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