he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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