i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
