Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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