i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
