If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
