smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
