the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
