he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
