Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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