she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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