I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Randomize
