Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
