party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
