I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
