Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
