so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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