Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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