I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
