my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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