you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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