Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
