he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
