Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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