Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
