I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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