Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
