wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
