Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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