it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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