Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
