ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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