Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
