flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
