HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Is Oprah even human
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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