Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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