So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
