I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
We are all done wearing pants today
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
