his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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