Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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