I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
