then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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